Anger is a normal emotion, even in little children. Yet, without appropriate resources to cope with it, anger can be a source of behavioural issues, strained relationships and emotional pain. As a parent, your role in supporting your child’s anger management is important and transformational. Through modeling good emotional regulation, you give them lifelong skills that shape their behaviour and quality of life.
Understanding the source of anger
Children, especially younger ones, become angry because they haven’t developed the skills to express complex emotions like frustration, fear, or sadness. Anger may be caused by
- Being unheard or misunderstood
- Experiencing changes (eg. sibling competition, etc)
- Coping with school or social stress
- Having unmet needs or a lack of control
At Cyboard, we believe in anger as a surface emotion and react with empathy rather than with punishment. We help students in improving anger management by some of the mentioned ways:-
Offer a safe environment for emotional expression
Children need to know that it’s ok to be angry, it’s how they express it that matters. Instead of scolding them for their emotions, speak openly to them:
“It’s ok to feel angry, but let’s talk about what made you feel that way”
This validation makes the child feel heard and tends to quill the intensity of the feeling
Model healthy anger management
Children learn through observing adults. If they see you handling anger with calm words, and constructive action, they are more likely to follow your example. Instead of yelling and slamming doors, try:
- Take deep breaths
- Say “I need a moment to calm down”
- Speaking with ‘I’ Statements (“I feel frustrated because…”)
Teach them to label their feelings
Emotional literacy is the foundation of managing emotions. Demonstrate to a child how to name and label what they are experiencing- anger, jealousy, frustration, etc,
When kids are able to express their feelings, they are more likely to discuss them rather than act out.
Establish calm down routines
Create a personalized kit that a kid can use when rage strikes. Some of the suggestions are:
- A “Calm corner” with calm music, coloring books or stuffed animals
- Breathing exercises
- A drawing board or feeling journals
These calm strategies reroute emotional energy and offer a sense of control at the height of moments
Set clear and consistent boundings
Emotions are fine, but hitting, screaming, or breaking is not. Set firm, but kind boundaries “Being angry is fine, but hurting people or breaking things.” Enforce consequences every time and ensure your child has clear rules in advance. This creates a structured environment where they feel safe and secure
Make them think through after an outburst
Once the child has calmed down, sit with them for a think time. Avoid going into problem-solving when they are angry. Later you can discuss what made him/her angry and how to handle the same next time. Reflection after a while builds self-awareness and problem solving.
Encourage physical activity and expression
At other times, there is risk of pent up energy leading to emotional tantrums. Release tension with physical activities like running, dancing or sports. The arts of music, painting, dancing expression, are also a means of processing emotions in a healthy manner
Leading a child through anger is a journey of patience, empathy and repetition. At Cyboard, we experience a child’s anger as a moment to connect with them and teach necessary life skills. Along with parents’ support, the child learns to control their feelings, communicate them in a healthy manner and build good emotional strength for future.
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